Couldn't wait any longer....to be a basket case again!!

....I signed up for TM129 - Technologies in Practice today.

I have had agreement locally from my office manager to pay for the remaining courses, but as I needed to be registered by 8th January, I didn't feel like I could safely wait much longer for higher approval.  So I have signed up online and paid for it myself, in the hopes to recoup it in the New Year.

Whichever way things progress financially, I would be studying the course anyway - I've come too far to 'step off' the mad bus ride that is my degree now.

Feeling like the downtime isn't really 'normal' this year, but then nothing else has been normal for the last year or so anyway.  Still not really got my crafting 'groove' on, although I have sudden flashes of inspiration, I never quite have the energy to follow them up with actions!  Maybe after Christmas eh?

Strange to think that, by the end of this course, I will have enough points to graduate with the basic degree.  And then only 2 more left.....Level 3 unknowns again......to get me the long awaited honours degree.

I occasionally have these moments....where I realise that it will all have been 'real' - somehow distance learning has some kind of a sense of unreality about it, except for those rare moments of interaction with other students on our chosen modules.  Don't get me wrong, I know exactly how much work I have put into this convoluted path of mine over the years, but somehow the reality of the actual degree still seems quite hard to grasp!

Looking forward to the day when I can say 'I achieved that'.  I am immensely proud of the journey, and I forget that sometimes in the reality of the daily 'doing' of life.

Back in the basket!

Well the results are in already.....drum roll please......Grade 2 pass!! With 81% for the exam score, the distinction remained close but decided not to supply the cigar.  Ah well, considering the traumas in personal life, along with the added 'bonus' of extended travelling time to work....I am more than overjoyed with the Grade 2 and the 81% to be honest!

The housework is under a reasonable level of control, having retreated to it somewhat as a comfort zone of something I could control during 2 periods of Dad's hospitalisation which of course I couldn't control. Not so much procrastination as avoidance of thought...if my hands were busy then my brain didn't have to process the horrid stuff we were dealing with.  Whichever way....grateful for the improved living space anyhow.

So now it's the 'downtime' phase, not quite got my head back into craft mode as Dad's only been out of hospital for a couple of weeks and I don't think I have wound down yet. Consequently I have hit "couch potato" mode with lots of no-brainer TV being watched.

Not signed the papers for next course yet as I do believe that work are going to support me financially with the last 3 courses....which would be great and give us a little financial leeway to get our own house in order..literally and figuratively...kitchen tap looks in need of replacement but our friend the plumber doesn't seem to be around at the minute.

But I shall look forward to the rest of the deep winter off, and to renewed energy for my studies next February.

Out the other side

When last I posted I was having a bit of a....nah let's be honest and admit it, a massive..crisis of confidence.   To the point where I had even contemplated pulling out of the course before the exam.

Dad came out of hospital eventually and although he has a long road of recovery ahead of him, the immediate terror and danger have lessened somewhat.

That being the case, I am happy to say that, having given the matter a lot of careful and honest thought, I decided that, as the presentation of the course where I would have registered to sit the exam on its own would doubtless be the very same one that I would attend as a resit if the unthinkable happened and I failed, it would be worth just getting down to brass tacks and getting through the exam.  Which I did, earlier today.

And whilst I would never rate any exam as a pleasant experience, it went pretty well, I think I may have managed a half decent score in fact.  Could this be the course with the ever elusive distinction?  Not sure about that but hey a girl can dream eh?

Time for a well-earned rest for the winter, and to allow other obsessions to take over for a while.

Stop the bus I wanna get off!!

Having a crisis of confidence and time and everything else right now.

Dad is still in hospital, being given mixed messages about timescales for release which has him down and depressed (understandably).

And of course not knowing the timescales of anything is making it ridiculously hard to plan or even concentrate on studies when all I am doing is worrying about my family. 

I'm seriously contemplating deferring the exam till another time, for this course you can do that, and bank your scores up to the point where you make that decision.  I don't have a lot of time to decide so I guess it's a case of assess progress by next week when we might know more about Dad's prognosis.  Can't make a hasty decision as Student Support only work Monday to Friday.  Dunno if that's a good thing or bad right now as I would just like progress of any kind.  Coming to hate weekends and the way they grind everything to a halt. ;(

Once more into the abyss?

Yahoo! I finished the TMA, on time and hopefully fully completed.

It's been a weird old week, my Dad's been in hospital for the whole week, with a very 'touch and go' period at the start where he was in intensive care.  Around that I have somehow managed to pull together a little more ability to focus on  my studies, which is weird.  I guess it's a way to escape from the reality of 'reality' and focus on something else which I can control.

It's therefore heading towards the time of revision.  For a couple of days though, I intend to do nothing with my studies or my books.  I am starting a new job tomorrow, and between that and hospital visits, I believe I should have enough to keep my brains more than occupied.

Then it's down to some serious revision - I think this course may need more structured revision as there is a lot of information to take in.  Right now I can't quite work out a path through it all, but I keep having to remember the mantra of "40% is all it takes to pass" - in this case "Good Enough" may have to be good enough for me.

More in a few days when my head recovers from trying to do it all at once!!

Basket Case? And a return to the Old Normal.

Ok - state of the Washing Basket - empty.

State of the TMA - progressing too slowly.

State of my brain cells - eroding too quickly.

I'm hitting that state of mid-assignment, mid everything else, pre-exam panic.  To which the only solution is wresting control in the only place I can manage it - the Washing Basket.  And obsessing over tidying silly things in the house that have lived happily in cupboards or drawers for years, why do they need to come out and play now?  The house may thank me but the studies won't.

The long commute is soon to be a thing of the past as I return to a much closer office, though to do what is not yet quite established, as I have applied for a temporary promotion opportunity back there too.  I'm hoping to have news on that quite soon.

So it will be a return to 'Old Normal' - the 'New Normal' never did quite settle in, it's been more a case of chaos and shoving in study wherever I could for the last 7 months.  But hopefully the change back might make enough difference at the right time to help fit in some decent revision time and get me out the other side of the exam with enough marks to pass.  Somehow I very much doubt that this is the course where I achieve that elusive Distinction.

(I hasten to add that blogging tonight was done after as much TMA work as I could stomach for the evening, lest the Procrastination Fairy get her wings too firmly established on the desk).

Hobbies, obsessions and the Washing Basket

On the way home from a quilting evening last night, I had time to ponder on my many hobbies, and to question myself even more than usual on my OU journey.

I have what can only be honestly known as an obsessive personality. Whatever (old or new) hobby I am currently busy with is usually my focus to the exclusion of many other things. When I am sewing the rest of the crafts take a back seat, when I am gardening it's from dawn till dusk.

Which leads me to wondering when I stopped feeling that way about my OU journey?  It seems that the closer to the goal I get, the less enthusiasm I have for the task. Studying is currently feeling akin to the washing basket, a task that needs to be coped with or got through.

I would dearly like to rekindle some of that earlier enthusiasm. I still love the learning but am taking less joy from the journey to get there.

But there still lies that feeling of how sad it would be to get so close and then stop. And so onwards I go again.

Someone please give me back that spring in my steps on the road to knowledge?