Back to the future

Nah, not the 80s movie so much talked about last year.

Back to the revision morning and night, for another few weeks, and back to the training room today, to the remains of our training which will shape so much of the future for all of us.

Today and tomorrow we get to do 'show and tell' presentations about what our experiences were like out in the real world.  I don't think that anyone else's was anything like as involved as ours, and to have come out of it with a product that could add real value to real people is actually quite an amazing feeling.  Typically I have been allocated the final presentation slot tomorrow afternoon.  On the plus side this gives me the chance to listen to everyone else and amend my notes last-minute.  On the minus side it gives me SO much more time to fret about getting it all wrong!!  I don't feel too bad at the moment, this may have been helped by the 2 glasses of wine sitting in the sun at lunchtime though!!  (First day back, who can refuse pizza and vino...?)

I think I am slowly coming to the conclusion though that 'suck it up and get on with it' is the new mantra for stuff in my life, actually - no - that sounds negative -

'Feel the Fear  - and do it anyway'

is much more like it.  I'd once never have been comfortable putting myself so much out there, but by doing just that I have opened doors for myself (and maybe even for others?) and found myself on a journey long dreamed of.  So maybe the presentation will be not so scary after all, and I do look forward to sharing the product we've been working on, I'm very proud of what we achieved in the timescale available.

And a little part of me thinks that graduating last year has been partly the catalyst for that internal change, I've been feeling it coming for a few years, with more 'management thoughts' creeping into my head, but I think it may have been the final proof that it was all real, that I haven't just imagined all this, that there is some knowledge retained in there somewhere (despite my best efforts to push it out with new stuff...) and that finally someone can make use of that knowledge in a constructive way.

(wow I am full of random introspective thoughts lately aren't I?)